Sunday, November 3, 2013

Wee Wisdom

My mind has been blown lately with the wisdom of kids.  It's amazing what those little people pack around in their brains.  For instance, I was having a discussion about Curious George with a kid the other day and mid conversation they look me straight in the eye and say, "He has too many privileges if you ask me."  Well little one, I didn't ask, but you do make a mighty solid point. 

Another kiddo made another solid point during sacrament meeting a few weeks ago (and by  few I mean 6 months).  She's 6 and has been known to give me dating advice.  I guess getting married is a pretty easy concept compared to learning how to use scissors and stand in a straight line.  So when she snuggled up to me a few weeks ago I was prepared to hear more about how I should wear earring and take up soccer.  Instead she drew this (and narrated as she did it).
For those of you who aren't therapists and trained in the art of interpreting children's drawing, I will go ahead and retell this love story gone tragically awry:
First, girl gives boy flower
Boy turns into a mean pirate and puts the girl in a box. 

Boy pirate takes girl and puts her on a boat and sails her into the ocean to dump her on a deserted island. 
Girl attempts to distract boy with a flag, hoping he'll fall off of the boat and drown...

Now, just a few months ago she was singing songs about love and marriage and giving me advice on how to snag a husband.  But this, this is a 180 in what I would consider "a very mature and wise" direction.  She's six, but she has already been taught that if you give a guy your flower, you've relegated yourself to a life lived in Slutsville and the dirty bastard probably won't appreciate it and if he does he's going to get possessive and work to isolate you...all of which are things she knows now but will forget in 10 years...after she's become indoctrinated with the fantasies which make up the perfect Mormon Marriage Myth (MMM).

In case you're not familiar with the MMM it does something like this:
1.  Girl meets boy at youth dance.  They do the deacon shuffle (her arms on his shoulders, his arms hovering several inches away from her body, near her waist...standing 2 feet apart...awkwardly rocking back and forth).
2.  Girl waits for boy to serve his mission (2 years).  While she's waiting she's refining her cooking, sewing, and housecleaning skills.
3.  Boy returns from mission.  Boy and girl get engaged and married within 3 months.  They move to BYU where she works a menial job until she can get preggers.  Then she'll stop working and stay home to raise babies and make casseroles for the remainder of her days....with a smile on her face...because being a stay-at-home baby maker is the pinnacle of the MMM.

Sigh.  I would like to think that as a Sunday School teacher I dispelled some of the MMM for the young women in my class.  But alas...three weeks ago a girl came bounding in and announced that her goal in life was to become "a trophy wife, and a soccer mom".  I may have come unglued a little...not so much outwardly, but totally and completely inwardly.  Have the past two years taught her nothing?  Have my incessant negative comments and weekly doses of reality gone unheard?  Evidently the answer to that is yes.  A loud, resounding YES.


The myth lives on, long and strong.

That may have been the straw that broke this camels back...well that and the girl who did nothing but complain about and put down the weekly treats that I brought (note:  you can bash me for whatever you'd like...but you challenge my baking skills and I will cut you).  So me and my broken camel back marched down to the bishop's office and requested that they release me.

I have nothing left to teach those kids.  Nothing.

The myths are too big.  Too ingrained.  Too irritating for me to challenge any more.

So I stepped down as the most rockin' youth Sunday School teacher to ever grace Minnesota...and perhaps the world.  I am now without a church responsibility and it. is. good. 

I'm pretty sure I'll stay without a church responsibility for quite some time.  Especially after I told the bishop how I really feel about calling for me :D

I hope this current state of under employed church responsibility allows me to get back to the basics...and this blog. 

Because I kind of miss writing...and I know ya'll miss reading.


AJ said...

So glad you are back! I've missed you :)

mark said...

Glad you let the Bishop know where you stand....but, I feel the kids are missing out and will now lack a balance in what they're taught. Argh.

Anyhow, best wishes and get back to writing!!

Jena said...


KarKar said...

I'll cheers to that!! Totally a loss for the kids ie. the son of a bishop!!! Oh well #sluttygirlproblems are no longer yours :) But it was all good and funny while it lasted!!!