Monday, December 17, 2012

The Evening Post: Aint' No Thang

Whew!  It wasn't the drugs, the protest, or the desire for me to join the mid-single recruiting army.

Big. Sigh. Of. Relief.

It was an invitation to be the secretary for the MN LDS Family Service Advisory Council...yep, I can do that...and a "come, sit down and let's discuss your shattered belief in all that is holy" chat.

Not too shabby.

Because honestly, I probably shouldn't have asked my home teacher if he had any muscle relaxers I could purchase.  But those guys are always saying, "is there anything we can do for you?" and I'm always saying "no".   So when he called me last Sunday, on the day that my stress level had literally grabbed me by the neck/shoulders/back and rendered me paralyzed and in pain, and said, "is there anything we can do for you" my first thought was, "well, if he's asking AND he has drugs I just might score".  There was an awkward silence, followed by a nervous chuckle, and an "um...I'm, I don't have any of those".  I can't say I wasn't disappointed, because honestly, I had high hopes that he would come through for me.

Drug solicitation fail.

And by all rights, I did fit the Mormon feminist pro-pant profile but alas, I'm an old school "wear a
dress and love it" type of girl.  I mean seriously, if we'd all just go back in the kitchen and make yummy and nutritious meals for our hard working men and beautiful children the world would be a better place.  I miss the days of yore when women crafted in circles and made the world a better place one jar of jam at a time.  If wearing a dress/skirt to church is all we have left of that simpler time then by golly I'm not letting it go.

Although my inner Zion Curtain Mormon TOTALLY judged the one girl who went balls to the walls and wore pants.  She was home for the holidays from BYU.  You could just see the "I am expressing my new found independence and freedom in a very conservative Christian Anglo-saxen way" pride oozing off of her.  I have no doubt it was the biggest bad ass moment of her life.

Pants sister...get a real cause.

And as far as the "reactivate mid-single's army"...well, they all know where I stand with that. 
So it wasn't bad at all.  Oh sure, I was INSANELY tired and probably said a whole bunch of stuff I don't remember.  But I don't think I swore so no matter what I may or may not have said, it was a success.

Up next:  The Ward Christmas Party


KarKar said...

I liked this. Cause it made me giggle cause the its the truth!!



PDgirl said...

Holy crap, I can't get enough of your blog! You make me laugh so hard. I'm glad to know I'm not the only Mormon who hates the culture and who swears.