Sunday, July 29, 2012

Sliding the Slippery Slope

The downward spiral in SS* continues. 

I knew it was going to be another insanely spiritual class when the first question asked was, "do you think Jesus winked at people".

Now honestly, I have spent years contemplating everything from the significance of the minute void that exists between subatomic particles to the tampon.  But I have never, ever in my 30+ years of over thinking wondered if Jesus was a winker.  But it didn't take long for me to decide that he probably was, which is why I responded with a wink, a finger gun click, and a "who do you think invented it?"

Class disintegrated from there.  All of a sudden everyone was giving examples of when Jesus would be most likely to wink.  The most popular one was the post-death-final-judgement scenario in which Jesus looks at you, winks, and says with a smile, "you're coming with me buddy".

My favorite example (which I did not share) was when Jesus turned the water to wine then winks at his apostles and says, "see what I did there".

Admit it, that was probably one of the most epic moments in religious history, made even better by a simple wink.

It took a good 10 minutes to get everyone to stop winking and laughing.

Then it only to 10 more minutes for someone to read a scripture that included the word "breast" and the class fell apart again.  Although I confess, the one to start the giggles that time was me.  I even surprised myself when I erupted in laughter.  I blame the "dramatic scripture voice" rule and my inability to control my inner 14-year-old boy...what can I say, it happens.

Well, the fact that Nathan asked if any "estrogen bombs" were dropped at girls camp over the week didn't help.  I was pretty much primed for inappropriateness from the start. 

And thus went another week of me, spiritually preparing the youth for the carnal and cruel world.  


Wendilynn said...

I just got introduced to this blog and I've been laughing for the last hour. I'm BIC* and my parents were converts. They often laughed at the silliness that sometimes invests this culture. Probably why I love the hale-storm movies. Anyway, just wanted to let you know how funny I found the posts.

Jennifer Babbitt said...

Holy hell. Mucho gracias once again. I enjoyed this so thoroughly that I may not need sex tonight. I am complete. Adult winking let alone Jesus winking as made me all warm and fuzzy.

P.s. I thought about it and you should read my post from April 2011. My father-in-law's funeral. He was a Mormon polygamist and that funeral rocked it like none other. Not many can understand the humor, but you just may.

Thanks for the entertainment!!

Jennifer Babbitt said...

Ok, I just found the post. April 1, 2011. Titled THE BEST POST EVER.