Friday, July 27, 2012

Dear Anon,

Time to break open the complaint box and see what we've recently received... 

Oh look!  Something by someone to insecure to put their name.  Let's see what it says:

Anonymous said...
A whole blog dedicated to trashing Mormons? How bitter can a person possibly get? It makes me think they have something worth having, otherwise you wouldn't waste so much time being bothered by it...
 
Anonymous, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read my blog.  I appreciate all of my readers and I'm glad you stopped by.  There have obviously been some misunderstandings and perhaps a few things were lost in translation.  It's a common issue, no need to feel sheepish for not getting it.  Hopefully my reply will help clear up a few things.
 
For the record, I don't trash Mormons.  I trash Mormon culture.  HUGE difference.  I would never look at a group of Mormons just minding their own business and just start slamming them.  That would be mean.  But, if that group of Mormons are in their 30s, single, and all playing a rousing game of human Foosball in the church gym
Hells yes I'm going to point out the absurdity.  Seriously odd, childish, and ridiculous games are a favorite in mid-single Mormon culture.  I'm fairly certain it explains why they are all "mid-singles" and not "mid-have lives" So it's totally fair game to trash.

And the Mormon culture is SO HUGE and SO FULL of ridiculous garbage that it needs it's own space.  Therefore I gave it its own blog.  I think it's that important.  Important enough to have it's own blog.

As far as "how bitter can a person get", great rhetorical question.  We could talk about this one for years.  I going to take a stab at it and say people can get really, really bitter.  

Or were you backhandedly saying that I am bitter?  If you were, I agree, to a degree.  When it comes to Mormon culture I am LOADED with an endless supply of skin curling irritation, and a hefty serving of hatred, perhaps you interpret that as being bitter.  Honestly the culture sucks, and when I say sucks, I mean it sucks HARD.  It can take the most brilliant, honest, spiritual person on the planet and in a matter of month pound them down to an insecure half wit who spends the rest of their life going and doing what everyone else is going and doing (how do you think they get all of those people together for foosball?...it's not the free drinks).  The culture will drive real people insane.  It's just a side effect of religion.  If it were up to me I'd have a waring sign hanging outside the church letting them know that great things often come in really messed up packages.

The gospel just happens to unfortunately fall into that category. 

Finally, "it makes me think they have something worth having".  BINGO!  That, my friend is the spirit testifying to you that there is something about it worth having.  I don't discuss doctrine on this blog but if you would like I can have my two friends come over to your house and explain to you what the "worth having" part is all about.  Send me your address and I'll send them right on over.  Two guys.  Black pants, white shirts, name tags.  You can't miss them.  Their first names are Elder.  OH!  And they come in every language, so if you'd like to hear about the "worth having " part in French, or Russian, or Tagalog we can make that happen. 

But just so you know nothing about this blog is a waste of time, you can ask my followers.  They'll tell you.  Although, judging by your comment you probably do more productive things with your time...like reading blogs you're just going to trash, and judging people's motives, and totally failing to recognize satire and sarcasm (non-time wasters tend to really hate us satirical sarcastic types...it really is a shame), and being too insecure to use your name.  Productivity at its best.
 
Once again, thanks for reading.  I hope you return and learn a thing or two about the reality of the Mormon culture. 
 
Love always,
Carrie    

19 comments:

Arthur said...

Hmm, I'm wondering if calling it "Mormon culture" is being a bit too generous.

Carrie said...

What would your suggestion be?

Arthur said...

Gee, that's a good point. Mormon faux-ture?

Carrie said...

But they're real, it looks faux and is paper thin when compared to other "tures" but it definitely has a life of its own.

Arthur said...

Proto-culture. Umm... culturissimo? Yeah, I guess it's a culture. I'm sure an anthropologist would make this very clear to me.

And really, as much as I hate the facade and the human foosball (okay, I admit I have certainly skipped any activity that had human foosball and hung out with my friends in bars instead), when we had our two babies, Mormons came and brought us food every night, and gave us good advice and comfort. That part of the culture I love. So I shouldn't complain too much.

Sarah Humble said...

I'm one of those people that tried to be faithful, and spiritual, and devout ....and was in turn "pounded down" to someone who thought I was losing my mind. Literally.

I appreciate YOUR faithfulness, but also your complete honesty that things are a little messed up when it comes to "Mormon Culture". Although I feel like I was judged wrongly by members of the church, I still defend its truth as a whole, but rarely it's imperfect, judgemental, and holier-than-thou members and (most of) their doctrine.

I love you and your irreverent, SPOT ON opinion!! Keep at it. You remind me often, why at one time i really did love the gospel.

Anonymous said...

I just wish you weren't so stinking sexist, and assume "your friends" would be male.

Other than that, I love it. We should hang out sometime when you are ever in Eastern MN.

Carrie said...

Not just sexist, but "stinking" sexist. Wow, I don't even know what that means...I don't think I've ever assumed my friends would be male...fact is, males don't really make good friends. Not sexist, just pointing out the reality. Maybe if you leave your name and where in Eastern MN you reside we could arrange something.

Jess said...

Thanks for blogging!! I love it and I love you!

Dave said...

Now you have offended ME, Carrie Hanson! And here I thought we were good friends...

Carrie said...

Dave you're the exception to the friends gender rule. There are a few who cross that line, but not a lot. Mostly because girls are crazy and guys are smart enough to not have that around just for fun.

HappyPants said...

"It can take the most brilliant, honest, spiritual person on the planet and in a matter of month pound them down to an insecure half wit who spends the rest of their life going and doing what everyone else is going and doing (how do you think they get all of those people together for foosball?...it's not the free drinks). The culture will drive real people insane. "

-Raises hand-
Yes, yes it can. We were having a problem with awful gossip and the R.S. president was brainstorming ideas for lessons she could share to tackle the issue. She brought up lots of different conference talks and I suggested we talk about personal boundaries.

She had no idea what I was talking about.

Carrie said...

Why didn't she just say, "Enough. This shit will not be tolerated" and then go into the primary lecture about keeping your hands to yourself. Only the adult version that includes mean thoughts, lies, and passing judgements on others. I would have put the scriptures away, taken the gloves off, and opened the can of "whoop ass" and then made everyone take a drink. I love conference talks but no one thinks the brethren are talking to them...why is it that the neighbor is always the one being the ass? If we'd all just realize and admit that we can all be jerks and that we're all mean and that we all need to stop the crap, and that we all have trashy secrets that would make the front page of the RS Tabloid....well, the world would be a better place.

Bjorge Queen said...

I love you Carrie. Right now I want to link to a clip with Kathy Bates and Foosball but I'll pass. It would be too predictable. Your viewers know how to google it. Aw hell. I gotta do it. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Kathy+Bates+Foosball

I've spent most of this week having a Special Feeling about people who post insults anonymously and who also equate criticism of a part of a culture with criticism of a people. (And yes I'm talking about this as it relates to Mormonism.)

If I controlled the internet it would be illegal to post anything without using a name or at least a pseudonym.

Bjorge Queen said...

And the second thing I would do is provide an edit feature for comments.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog and your commentary on weird mormon culture. I almost always feel the same way. I ran across this article the other day and it made me think of you and your writings (in a good way). I wish more people would recognize that these kinds of feelings are okay.

http://mormonstories.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Dehlin-WhyIStay-Suntone-2012.pdf

Carrie said...

Bjorne Queen: loved the clip

SiouxM said...

Long time reader, first time poster. I LOVE your blog. I always get a good laugh :)
I was raised LDS. Left the church 20 years ago, because I found that it could not stand up to what it claimed to be. So although I enjoy reading your blog, I do not agree that there is anything worth having in the church.
However, as long as you keep writing, I will keep reading :)

Carrie said...

Thanks for posting a comment SiouxM! I love hearing from readers, especially the nice ones. I hope you keep coming back!