Remember that one time in church when someone stood at the pulpit and spent 20 minutes spewing total garbage mingled with scripture in a holier than thou voice, backing up their bullshit with out-of-context scripture references and the congregation sat soaking it up like they were live at the sermon on the mount? Then do you remember a member of the bishopric standing up and thanking thus said member for the "enlightening words" and "thoughtful thoughts", thereby condoning the senselessness just presented?
Oh that's every week, you say? Well, yes, it is a common occurrence, but generally it's reserved for a more intimate setting like Sunday School* or Relief Society*. People tend to have free range with stupid comments in those meetings but sacrament meeting is suppose to be different. It's the focus of the Sabbath worship services and is meant to be life giving and invigorating...it isn't suppose to be the meeting that makes people like myself stand up and scream in the middle of the meeting.
But that is exactly what happened.
Ok, I wasn't actually in the meeting. I was sitting in the foyer because by divine intervention I was late to church that day and there weren't any seats left. Yep, I'm pretty sure God knew what was going to happen, and he also knew how I would have reacted had I actually been sitting in the same room with the guy. It would have went something like this:
I'm not going to go off on what it was that was said from the pulpit, but this graphic sums it up pretty well.
My irritation followed me into Sunday School. I have no idea what lesson I was suppose to teach, but whatever it was it got hijacked when out of no where I looked at the awesome kids in my class and said, "I want you to know that not everything you hear in church is true".
Yep, I said it. And they starred back with the same "what in the hell is she talking about" face that they look at me with every Sunday.
"I'm serious. I can't bear pure testimony* of much, but this I can, not everything you hear in church is true."
They continued to stare.
"Like sacrament meeting today, let's talk about sacrament meeting. Anyone hear any untruths today?"
Their faces relaxed. One piped up, "oh are you talking about Brother so-and-so?"
"We never listen to anything he says."
I breathed a sigh of relief. Then felt the burn of anger start to rise....THEN WHY IS HE STILL TALKING? Why are we as a culture silently endorsing this type of verbal garbage? Why don't we stand up when someone says something that is out of line? How many people leave the church because of the offensiveness of garbage spoken with authority? I think it's tragic, and completely out of line. Which is why the next time a lady goes off about the inaccuracy of dinosaurs, evolution, and mental health in Relief Society I'm going to go old school crusade on her ass and throw my shoe at her head (for those of you who have seen me throw something, you know I'll miss and hit the person to rows behind me...but my point will still be made).
My next rant: When Mormon's Throw Parties: Boobs Were Everywhere