Sunday, June 3, 2012

Not Everything You Hear in Church is True

Remember that one time in church when someone stood at the pulpit and spent 20 minutes spewing total garbage mingled with scripture in a holier than thou voice, backing up their bullshit with out-of-context scripture references and the congregation sat soaking it up like they were live at the sermon on the mount?  Then do you remember a member of the bishopric standing up and thanking thus said member for the "enlightening words" and "thoughtful thoughts", thereby condoning the senselessness just presented?

Oh that's every week, you say?  Well, yes, it is a common occurrence, but generally it's reserved for a more intimate setting like Sunday School* or Relief Society*.  People tend to have free range with stupid comments in those meetings but sacrament meeting is suppose to be different.  It's the focus of the Sabbath worship services and is meant to be life giving and isn't suppose to be the meeting that makes people like myself stand up and scream in the middle of the meeting.

But that is exactly what happened.

Ok, I wasn't actually in the meeting.  I was sitting in the foyer because by divine intervention I was late to church that day and there weren't any seats left.  Yep, I'm pretty sure God knew what was going to happen, and he also knew how I would have reacted had I actually been sitting in the same room with the guy.  It would have went something like this:

It actually would have gone a lot like that...because I stopped brushing my hair and wearing makeup on Sundays years ago.

I'm not going to go off on what it was that was said from the pulpit, but this graphic sums it up pretty well.
The speaker totally missed the point of what he was suppose to be talking about...and then the bishopric and congregation all said "amen" like it was truth.   That's the part that infuriates me.  No one said anything...meanwhile I was out in the foyer raging, telling my friend that we cannot keep condoning such crap.  I was ready to fight, ready to barge through the chapel doors and call someone out on their crap.  
Why is it that if couched correctly, someone can say things that are totally contradictory to base doctrine and beliefs and get away with it?  There are some moments when we do not need to be nice and just nod our heads in mindless agreement, there are moments when we need to be courageous enough to stand up and say,
"Almost doctrine" is dangerous stuff.  It's a wicked concoction of semi-truth, mixed with impossible shoulds, assumptions, guesses, and blatant lies.  It's always presented with a hefty dose of guilt and is meant to strike fear into the hearts of those who listen to it.  The reality is, it's not healthy.  It doesn't promote a closer relationship with God or your neighbor or yourself.  It's simply one man's opinion that typically gets replicated over and over and over again until the masses accept it as truth.

Dangerous stuff.

My irritation followed me into Sunday School.  I have no idea what lesson I was suppose to teach, but whatever it was it got hijacked when out of no where I looked at the awesome kids in my class and said, "I want you to know that not everything you hear in church is true". 

Yep, I said it.  And they starred back with the same "what in the hell is she talking about" face that they look at me with every Sunday.

I smiled.

"I'm serious.  I can't bear pure testimony* of much, but this I can, not everything you hear in church is true." 

They continued to stare. 

"Like sacrament meeting today, let's talk about sacrament meeting.  Anyone hear any untruths today?"

Their faces relaxed.  One piped up, "oh are you talking about Brother so-and-so?"

I smiled

"We never listen to anything he says."

I breathed a sigh of relief.  Then felt the burn of anger start to rise....THEN WHY IS HE STILL TALKING?  Why are we as a culture silently endorsing this type of verbal garbage?  Why don't we stand up when someone says something that is out of line?  How many people leave the church because of the offensiveness of garbage spoken with authority?  I think it's tragic, and completely out of line.  Which is why the next time a lady goes off about the inaccuracy of dinosaurs, evolution, and mental health in Relief Society I'm going to go old school crusade on her ass and throw my shoe at her head (for those of you who have seen me throw something, you know I'll miss and hit the person to rows behind me...but my point will still be made).

My next rant:  When Mormon's Throw Parties:  Boobs Were Everywhere


Andrew said...

Yes, the foyer was rockin' that day. I kinda wish there was video of reactions to certain statements.

Cathy M said...

I flove you Carrie, and most especially because of the way that awe
some, ironic, thinking mind works.

Carrie said...

Andrew, when I found the panda pic I thought of you...notice I have grounded myself to the foyer forever now...I'm scared of what might pop out of my mouth if I actually go in to the chapel.

Angenette said...

Dear Twinner,
I am going to need deets on what the talk entailed. Text me whenevs.

KarKar said...

I totally agree... it seems using doctrine, is just a suggestion these days.

I remember when I used to go to church, there was a lady giving a talk in sacrament, and she was going off and the bishop actually grabbed her elbow and made her stop her talk. It was insane. The gospel makes ya think you're the shit!!!

Speaking of people changing doctrine to their opinion, how come they keep changing the rules of the doctrine?? Isn't the church to abide by the doctrine a 14 year old boy received on a grassy hill top? How come it can be changed? i.e. garments are different from just 50 years ago, for women the bra can be worn under her garment top (that was started just a few years ago), it was in the 70's that the blacks could receive the priesthood... I have A LOT of these things that are questionable. And my answers are always, you just need to have faith. Hmmmm - I think its shady shit!!! But thats just my opinion!!!!

Lovelyn said...

Amen to that!! You are so funny and so right.

Amy-Marie said...

Loved this! Was raised going to church with my mom's family and also my girlfriends who were all very strictly LDS and then also going to church with my dad's family who were all Chrisitian(Non-Denominational and Baptist). All the different wards I went to with my friends and cousins and grandparents all taught doctrine a bit differently, or according to their own interpretaion, or thought. When I went to church with dad's family, no matter what church, no matter what preacher, they always taught the same thing, the same doctrine, the same concepts. It was because this I became and am a born-again, redeemed by the blood Christian and I am so glad I am!

Elaine said...

You. are. hilarious. I agree...almost doctrine is very dangerous indeed!