Monday, July 25, 2011

When Awkward Meets Invisibile

Life is full of awkward moments.

Like when your teenager gets knocked up and you hold her hostage and she enjoys it...
Or when cute takes a turn for the worse...
Or that amazing idea just doesn't execute itself well...

 Or you're just a bit over zealous and take things a bit too far...
Or...well...
Awkward.

We all have those moments.

But when awkward meets invisible it can only mean one thing:  single person at a Mormon mom party.

I was reminded of this last week when Natalie took me as her wing-sister to a MMP.  I went willingly under the pretense that it was a dessert party.  I was fully prepared for the dessert.  I mean Mormons are fawesome bakeresses so there was sure to be brownies and things with coconut and something lemony and the random "I threw in some Rice Krispies for fun" concoction.

What I was not prepared for was the insane awkwardness that ensued the moment we entered the house.

Here's how it went:

Carrie, carrying a large plate of banana bread, and Natalie with a plate of brownies and strawberries walk into a big house where 15 other women are scattered around the living room/kitchen.  All 15 women were engaged in various small group conversations about one of three topics
1.  breast feeding
2.  potty training
3.  childbirth recovery time

No one looked at us.  No one said hi to us.  In fact no one acknowledged us in any way, shape, or form.  In fact we didn't even have the opportunity to sneak a "hello everyone" in because not a soul even acted like they knew we had entered the room.  And considering I've never given birth, been a milk machine, or had the pleasure of trying to teach a little person the in-and-outs of #1 or #2 I couldn't exactly hop in and offer my 2 cents on any of the topics.

So we stood next to the dessert pile.  After about five uncomfortable minutes I turned to Natalie and asked, "so, uh, do you know anyone in this room?".  To which she replied that she knew almost everyone, and that this was how she was usually greeted...or not greeted.

It was strange to feel invisible and to wish I could be invisible all at the same time.

While you'd be hard pressed to find a non-single LDS person who would admit it, I swear to you that the single LDS female is the social panty line of the LDS church.
Unsightly.
Everyone knows it's there.
No one wants to point it out.
Awkward.
Not invisible.
But you sure wish you were.

11 comments:

thetokenmormon said...

Awesome post, and I can totally relate ... it's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been there, but VPL is as good an analogy as I've come across.

Angenette said...

oh that suuuuucks

Karen E. said...

I've just discovered your blog and I love it! I'm a 37-year-old single woman in the church and I definitely relate to this. I feel this way at just about every church function I attend! And when I tell (married) people that's why I hestitate to go to activities, they tell me I'm exaggerating. Ha! From now on I'm using the VPL analogy.

Jeff said...

Just a little validation from a complete stranger for you: your blog proves you are insightful, funny, intelligent and deep. It's people like you that are the reason humanity is worth saving. Chin up.

Carrie said...

Wowza Jeff, that's quite the compliments...you must not have read my post where I confessed that I often have the desire to shove people off their bikes. I'm definitely not a reason why humanity is worth saving.

Armelle said...

How rude! Why do you even bother (un-)socializing with them? Were the cakes good at least? Though the atmosphere must have been enough to kill your appetite...

Anonymous said...

I'm a 36 single female in the church. your attitude really is depressing(not trying to be mean). but my attitude has changed by not taking anything about the church seriously. I believe all churches are true. If you want to feel important and happy you really need to attend another church. and just accept yourself for who you are.I will never wear mormon underwear drink champagne every now and then. Now I'm the happiest I have ever been. You seem to put up with alot of bull shit in the church. Time to "grow up" and see how immature those mormons are. You are better than that, and are blessed with a bull shit radar. Remember use that radar and start to be happy and you will feel closer to god!!!! Good luck

Fabric Choices said...

I needed this so BAD. I feel much the same way when I'm just at my parents house. But for other reasons, namely they are all Mormon and my husband and I are not. You are hysterical and put a fun light on shtinky situations.

Bjorge Queen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erin Hanson, LMT said...

I recently had fun little discussion with one of my cousins who is 31 and single, and how she feels like at some point, some prophet must have said that single women over 25 are a menace to society by the way they're treated.

We had a good laugh, but then I got thinking about it and it reminded me of this post. I can't exactly relate to being over 25 and single, but I can relate to being an outcast from all the little "mommy gangs".. I'm sure you've seen them; the women who call up their jogging- and double-strollers en masse and make a parade out of their daily walks down the middle of the street that resembles a military blockade closer than it does a little stroll out with the Sisters.

Anyway, I guess my point is that unfortunately, the social heirarchy doesn't end with marriage. Best of luck to you- this blog, and by default, you, rock!!

Mrs. yosswel said...

And on a related note: nice panty line picture. Having a vpl just makes it more enjoyable for those that do enjoy looking. Honestly, regarding VPLs, women should should be fresh out of fucks to give. Why would you pay more for less clothing, I mean thongs. If you're attractive, people are going to notice you regardless of your underwear. Cops gonna arrest you for not wearing certain kinds of clothes? Because someone else chose to be offended by underwear? Really?...Lol.