Tuesday, June 28, 2011
For years, and I mean YEARS, I have found comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one in the spinster garden. In fact, for a lot of years the garden was pretty darn packed. But one by one the flowers have been plucked out and slowly but surely the garden is starting to look more and more pathetic.
But, my inner evil Polyanna has always found joy/peace/solace in the fact that at least the Dandelion hadn't been picked before me. I'm pretty sure we can all agree that the Dandelion isn't exactly the most beautiful flower, in fact, some consider it an annoying, irritating, WEED. As for me, I've always kind of like the Dandy, they're small but sturdy and their little yellow puffiness kind of makes me happy. So while I like the Dandy, I have always put myself above the Dandy as far as "pickability" goes.
I know, totally and completely snotty and exactly the reason why I deserve to be emotionally pushed me down the stairs by God.
But it's true. I mean, who would pick a Dandy when they could pick a ME? Not that I'd ever want to be with someone who would pick a Dandy over a ME but still, MY PICKABILITY IS HIGHER.
Or so I thought it was. I recently heard that the Dandy has been plucked and is on her way to the alter...while ME and a bunch of other weeds are still chilling in the garden.
I won't lie. I'm irritated. I mean COME ON! The Dandy got picked before I did? What. The. Hell!
I'm tired of hearing about it. I'm tired of hearing all of the smarmy, ooey-gooey "love of my life", "luckiest girl in the world", "dream come true", "God loves me" bull-shiz that continues to flow out of every alter bound bride.
I don't have enough fingers to count the number of first, second, and third marriages I've smiled through. People, I love you. I love that you have all found love...once, twice, three, four times. Fawesome, I'm happy for you. But seriously, one more "God answered my prayers with the world's most amazing man" followed by a "you just need to keep praying and it will happen to you too" is going make me go postal. If I hear another "patience is a virtue" or "it's all in God's time" me and my rotting virginity are going to have to be handcuffed, muzzled, and carted off to a maximum lock down facility.
Because I want out of this damn garden. Patience isn't a virtue, it's a torture device.
The Dandy? Really?
Posted by Carrie at 2:18 PM