Monday, May 23, 2011
This is not the first time I have heard this phrase. In fact, shortly after I arrived in Minnesota the bishop* of the singles ward* told all of the single ladies the exact same thing. He even went as far as to tell us how to dumb ourselves down: don't talk about our education, don't talk about our jobs, don't talk about traveling the world, or ambitions or goals or anything else of substance, and don't be witter than the single guy your with, because it makes them feel bad and no guy wants to date a girl who makes them feel bad. While he never said what we should do instead, I assume it's not giving blow jobs. So I guess to be successful marriage material a Mormon girl needs to be dumb...or at least less intelligent than the guys she's around.
Awesome. That isn't insulting. And are guys, LDS and otherwise, really so sub par that women have to pretend to be dumb in order to attract one? I'd like to say no, they are not, but "dumb yourself down" is a reoccurring suggestion in my life. It's as if tweaking my intelligence will finally make the equation perfect:
ME - 20 pounds + a sunnier disposition - intelligence + desire to please + better cooking - need for conversation + low expectations + rock solid testimony in the gospel - swearing habit - independent spirit - ability to care for self + dependency = marriage material
I have spent far too many years trying to live my life as an equation. Subtract something here, add something there, over and over and over and over again, trying to get it just right...it's maddening and not something I care to invest any more time doing.
So, if my love of 13th century Persian poetry makes me unmarriagiable...so be it.
If the fact that I'm working on my 4th degree puts me in the "undateable" pile...I'm comfortable with that.
If in fact, man has de-evolved to the point where dumb girls are the only ones they care to marry and procreate with...then, I pray, may the human race be snuffed out by their own ignorance and stupidity.
Till then, I will live with the hope that men are more intelligent than we give them credit for.
Posted by Carrie at 4:10 PM