Wednesday, April 27, 2011

THIS is What Self-Actualization Looks Like

Several years ago a good friend, and trusted MFT said that I was the only person she had ever met that had reached the "self-actualization" stage of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs..."EXCEPT", she said, I'd somehow managed to miss some of the major milestones of the Love/Belonging& Esteem levels. So what does that mean? Basically I'm highly evolved but have craptastic luck in the love department which tends to bring down ye ol self-esteem at times.

Well, today my self-actualized self had the realization that deep down, I am pure evil. I realized this as a bicyclist was cruising past me and I had to fight the urge to push him over. I just wanted to reach out and shove him. Sure, it may have been my pedestrian self feeling irritated that he wasn't following the "walk your bike" rule on that part of campus...but I really know it's just my evil nature wanting to inflict pain on someone (damn, I really do need more love). Anyway, only a self-actualize person could openly admit these urges and then explain why such urges were meant to be harnessed and not acted upon.

Fast forward to 20 minutes ago when I received an email from an "eligible Mormon guy" that said:

"found ur husband yet??? hahahah omg"

To which my self-actualized self replied:

"still a douche??? hahahah omg"

And you want to know what? Screw self-actualization, sometimes first tier thinking is the way to go. Because I honestly hope he gets that new drug resistant strain of gonorrhea...because A-holes like him deserve burning pain while urinating, cottage cheese penial discharge, and tender/swollen testicles.

Just sayin'.


KarKar said...

Your husband is going to be the luckiest man as well as you children.. You are awesomely real and most hilarious. {Make sure you remind him of his luck..}

You are pretty much my favorite wholesome bitch..{said with love}

Keep it real Sister..

Carrie said...

"Wholesome Bitch"? Best compliment EVER! I'm going to start using that as my pen name.

Cooking for my Cutie said...

The things you have to say never fail in making me laugh. You are so gifted sweetie and one day you will have a husband that will appreciate it. Love you!

Darren said...

Ok... I'm not looking to pick you up, nor am I a Mormon, nor do I live in a "geographically undesirable" location. I just stumbled across your blog, read a few posts (by way of procrastinating), laughed deep down from the belly several times in 10 minutes, and felt I just had to comment.

Wow. If I were any or all of the above, you would have to expect my call... not necessarily answer it, but expect it nonetheless. You are, in a word, awesome.

Carrie said...

Dear Darren...
Thank you! I am awesome. And obviously you are too because you recognize a sly sense of humor AND weren't appalled by my use of the words "douche", "penis" or "cottage cheese". Might I suggest you read one or more of the post where I defend the reasons why I date Catholics, Lutherans, Agnostics, etc....reasons like you my friend: you have taste.