The other day, while lost in contemplation about things like Spring, and happy marriages, and teeth whitening products, I had a personal revelation: there is a HUGE lack of vinyl lettering in my life. And when I say HUGE, I mean I don't own any. Nothing. I don't have any "Families Are Forever" blocks stacked above the fireplace: No "Return With Honor" posted in my entry way:And not a single witty saying adorning a large tile sitting in my kitchen:
None. Zip. Zero. Zilch.
For a second I was gripped with panic at my obvious oversight of this raging Mormon decorating trend and had this brief conversation with myself:
"Self. SELF! This is why you're still single. LDS guys love chicks who slather their homes in faith promoting sentences and proclaim their adherence to gospel principles through nifty uses of flooring items. This is a MAJOR oversight. I have to get some vinyl lettering, and QUICK...before I get a second older and lose all chances of finding an eternal mate. One with whom I can have a family forever and return with honor and BE with..."
For a moment I felt as though my entire identity as a faithful LDS woman was hanging by a thread, at the mercy of a Cricut machine.
But you know what? Not only do I not legally own a wall I could paste some lettering on, nor do I care to sacrifice precious counter space to a dust collecting tile or blocks or a plaque or anything else...but there isn't a saying on this planet that I'd like to give that much commitment to. Sure, I can see myself being witty and slapping, "Welcome to Suckville: pop. ME" on the wall, but that probably doesn't have the same intoxicating affects on an LDS male that "Love Is Spoken Here" would.
I'll be honest. I feel slightly empty and I don't think the answer is as easy as a brief visit to Etsy. I need some passion, something beyond myself that will make me WANT to plaster a gag-triggering, faith-promoting, tear-jerking something on my wall.
Till then, I'll be chillin' in my vinyl letter-less world of selfishness and sarcasm brainstorming something provocatively witty to put on my wall...all suggestions welcome.