Monday, December 20, 2010

Prayer Should Come With a Warning Label

Over the course of the last few months I've been praying that I'd be released* from my calling* as the 2nd counselor in the Relief Society presidency*.  I told God that I wouldn't ask to be released, but that if He saw fit I was totally cool if He thought someone else would be better at planning fun little parties and constructive women-only activities.  So when the 1st counselor in the Bishopric* called and asked to meet with me I was immediately filled with hope that I'd be relieved of my duties, but petrified that they'd want me to be the mid-single's representative (horror of horrors).

Well, the moment Brother* Henstrom said, "we'd like to release you" I did a triple air punch and then pointed at him proclaiming, "I'VE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS!!!!".  I suddenly filled with glee!  God does hear me!  Then he said, "and we'd like to offer you a new calling".  Well in that moment I was so filled with relief that I kicked back and said, "oh sure, what cha' got for me?".  That's when he said it.  That's when he said, "we'd like to call you to be the 2nd counselor in the Young Women's Presidency".

Silence.

I stared.

Then stuttered, "wh-ha-at?"

He smiled.  "The second counselor in the..."

I interrupted with an "are you kidding?" followed by a list of reasons why they did NOT want to ask me to work with the youth of the church.

He smiled and told me to give it three months.

So here's the part where I go off on my tirade...so only continue if you want to know how I really feel about it...

The world is full of bad ideas.  Case(s) in point:

Elephant water skiing 
 Grocery store art
Baby wigs
All bad, bad ideas.

I consider Carrie being put in charge of a bunch of teenagers also a bad, bad idea.  Why?  Well because I HATED being in the young women's program*.  Hated it.  I'm pretty sure it's the reason I'm full of religious angst, religious guilt, religious fear, and everything else I've ever been in therapy for.  Let me give you a little history...

Around the age of 13 I was labeled as "the bad girl".  I remember crying at the dining room table while the bishop attempted to explain to my parents and me that my young women leaders had turned me in for being a "bad influence" on Andrea Merrill.  This only confused me more.  See Andrea was my best friend, I was a public school kid, she was a home school kid.  We went on 6 mile bike rides around the Rigby Lake (the nastiest sub hole in the state) on a regular basis.  We checked a lot of books out of the library.  But that was about as wild as we got.  No adult fantasy novels, no drugs, no orgies.  Nothing.  We crocheted for fun.

To this day I have no idea why I was such a "bad influence" on Andrea or anyone else for that matter...but whatever it was, it earned me 2 months of weekly visits with the bishop where he repeatedly tried to call me to repentance and I sat stoned faced wondering what the hell I had done.  It kind of messed me up and I'm pretty sure it was the catalyst that sent me straight into years of living the life of a highly academic goth.

I'll spare you the rest of the 6 years of boring details but trust me...it was ugly.

Coming up on my next post:  C May be for Cookie, Carrie, and Chastity, but one of these things is not like the other....

5 comments:

Dave said...

So is Andrea Merrill a little crack whore now? Just wonderin' how bad you messed her up.

The Book Goddess said...

@Dave: Hmmmmmm......not "quite" a crack whore........

The Book Goddess said...

@Carrie: Awwww sweetie! I had no idea how bad that messed you up! It was Shirlene and Marcia's fault, do you remember? (We "supposedly" made them cry while teaching a class because we weren't paying close enough attention.) Of course, I was the kid with the inactive parents (can't get HER in trouble or else she might stop attending, heaven forbid!) and wasn't your Dad 2nd counselor at the time? (PRIME target for example making). Even at the time we both thought it was crazy that they made you meet with the bish for NO APPARENT REASON and left me completely alone! Hugs to you!

Dave said...

Andrea, don't settle. You can get there if you apply yourself.

Carrie, I see your weekly lessons as a potential cross between the old "Scared Straight" program and Dave Chapelle's "When keeping it real goes wrong". Either way, I think it may be the only time I've ever wanted to sit in on a YW lesson.

Julie said...
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